TOTP - Jon's Top Ten Crisp Flavo(u)rs

Jonathan from http://www.topofthepods.com/ likes crisps and eats far too many of them - so much so that he has had to employ a personal trainer to come round and kick his fat crispy ass into shape before he goes on his holiday. So to celebrate his love of crisps, Jon decided to list his top ten favourites... Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com and tell us which flavours you like best:-

• 10 – Walkers Beef & Onion
  Is this the brummies fave crisp? I heard it was once on a comedy routine.
• 9 – Walkers Salt & Vineger
  Demoted. Not what they used to be.
• 8 – American QuarterBacks
  New entry due to being reminded of their existance during conversation about top ten crisp flavours.
• 7 – Tangy Toms
  At 10p a bag they were a bargain - do they still exist?
• 6 – Scampi Fries
  Problem: they stink
• 5 – Walkers Roast Chicken
• 4 – Flamin' Hot Monster Munch
• 3 - Roast Beef Monster Munch
  
• 2 – Salt & Vinegar twists
  Not garage ones - they are always rubbish
• 1 – M&S Prawn Cocktail shells
  Waitrose also do them, but pipped by M&S
  Why did Sainsbury stop doing them?

TOTP - Top Ten Reasons To Use Skype

Jonathan and Rob from http://www.topofthepods.com/ like are crazy about Skype. So crazy in fact that Rob came up with ten whole reasons why you lot should use Skype too. Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com and tell us if you are crazy about skype too. Or if you like, you could skype us - topofthepods is our ID:-

• 10 – Skype Chat
• 9 – Great studio integration
• 8 – Skype In
• 7 – You can use a traditional style phone with it
• 6 – Runs on a Pocket PC
• 5 – Voicemail
• 4 – Skype Out
• 3 - Portablility
• 2 – Ability to call a complete stranger (Skype Me)
• 1 – It's Free

TOTP - Top Ten Cool Brands

Jonathan from http://www.topofthepods.com/ likes his brands. Some might say he's a marketeers dream. Others might say he likes to waste money on overpriced crap. Well, Jon came up with some interesting if not lazy items in his top ten cool brands. The phrase scraping the barrel does come to mind on some of his choices. And where do you think Apple came in his top ten? Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com and tell us what you favourite brands are - hopefully they wont include washing machine makers:-

• 10 - Ferrari
• 9 - MTV
• 8 - Meile (????)
• 7 - BBC
• 6 - Carlsburg
• 5 - Sony
• 4 - Adobe
• 3 - Smart
• 2 - Apple
• 1 - Howies

TOTP - Top Ten Things Rob Can't Live Without

Here at http://www.topofthepods.com/ we like our stuff. We like the little things that make our little lives that little bit more interesting. Some of these things we just can't live without and with this in mind Rob decided to put pen to paper and mouth to mic and let us in on a few little secrets - His top ten list of things he just can't give up. Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com and tell us how many of these things you can't live without. There may be a few you agree with, but there are probably a few you are thinking are a little odd. Sorry about that. That's just Rob:-

• 10 - Oscilating Fan
• 9 - Ketchup
• 8 - Podcasting
• 7 - Music
• 6 - Cheese (?)
• 5 - Foreign Travel
• 4 - Nice Cup Of Tea and Some Sugar
• 3 - Cleaning Teeth
• 2 - Pocket PC
• 1 - The Internet

TOTP - Top Ten Things you shouldn't have on your car

Here at www.topofthepods.com we get very irritated by some car drivers. Rob has been spending too many hours behind the wheel in traffic jams getting upset by other drivers stupid bits attached to their stupid cars. Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com and tell us how many of these you are guilty of:-

• 10 – Baby on board notice
• 9 – Nodding dogs
• 8 – Travel blankets
• 7 – Stupid blue lights
• 6 – Beaded seat cover
• 5 – Extra bodywork
• 4 – Alloys
• 3 - Bad paint jobs
• 2 – Stickers saying Chas and Dave
• 1 – Anything hanging from the mirror

TOTP - Top Ten Tips For Dealing With Bad Customer Service

Its the www.topofthepods.com show about standing up for yourself as a consumer, try a few of these for tips when dealing with complaining. By the way, if you want to complain about the state of this show email topofthepods@gmail.com :-

• 10 – Don't get personal
• 9 – Call up and hang up repeatedly to call centers
• 8 – Dont complain about food unless you can see the kitchen
• 7 – Keep a diary of events
• 6 – Don't dial any numbers during a telephone menu system
• 5 – Record your convesations
• 4 – Stern, polite, calm but loud
• 3 - Get full names and telephone extentions
• 2 – Dont pay
• 1 – Use a watchdog organisation

TOTP - Top Ten Brazillians

Felipe from Rio de Janeiro issued us a challenge at www.topofthepods.com, it was to find the Top Ten Brazillians. We did our best. If you can issue us with a challenge like Filipe did then send your emails to topofthepods@gmail.com.:-

• 10 – Nelson Picay
• 9 – Erton Senna
• 8 – Gizella
• 7 – Brazillians Haircuts
• 6 – Pele
• 5 – Barachello
• 4 – Nuts
• 3 - Renaldo
• 2 – Sorcatese
• 1 – Jesus on the Hill

Also worth reading : Brazilian Star Wars Review

TOTP - Top Ten War Movies

Its Jons www.topofthepods.com top ten war movies, and Rob has only seen half of them. Tell us if you've seen any of these by emailing topofthepods@gmail.com, don't forget to express your dismay that Dr Strangelove isn't even in the chart:-

• 10 – The Bridge on the River Kwai
• 9 – The Great Escape
• 8 – The Deerhunter
• 7 – Born on the Forth of July
• 6 – Platoon
• 5 – Zulu
• 4 – Full Metal Jacket
• 3 - Black Hawk Down
• 2 – Apocolpyse Now
• 1 – Saving Private Ryan

TOTP - Top Ten Failed Technologies

On www.topofthepods.com today Rob brings you his top ten list of failed technologies, email us at topofthepods@gmail.com if you still own any of these (and let Jon know who Dave Winer is) :-

• 10 – Betamax video
• 9 – Apple Newton
• 8 – Laserdisc
• 7 – Eight Track
• 6 – Personal transport
• 5 – Sega / Nintendo / Atari
• 4 – The Amstrad Emailer
• 3 - Java
• 2 – iPod Batteies
• 1 – Bluetooth

The BritPack - Probably the Best Podcasting in the UK

As proud members of Britcaster.com we were delighted to be offered a spot on the showcase podcast known as Britpack. After much timewasting and several attempts at different formats we sent over a couple of off the cuff performances talking about why you lot should listen to us. They chose one and slotted it in near the end of the cast. Don't skip any though as there's a whole host of offerings from some of the UK's best podcasters, so there's definately something for everyone. Enjoy. We did.

The BritPack - Volume One.

Contents:
Podcast Paul
Bitjobs for the Masses
A Minor Technicality
Dark Compass
Dissident Vox
Top of the Pods
A Brit Abroad
The Richard Vobes Radio Show

Thats it. You know the drill about emailing us at topofthepods@gmail.com, we'll play your stuff on http://www.topofthepods.com/ - no questions asked.

TOTP - Top Ten Horrible Foods

Don't eat whilst you listen to this, its Jons top ten list of horrible foods:-

• 10 – Liver
• 9 – Chicken Neck
• 8 – Sushi
• 7 – Hearts
• 6 – Insects
• 5 – Pig Trotters
• 4 - Shellfish
• 3 - Monkey Brains
• 2 – Sheeps Eyes
• 1 – Testicals

Yuk! Tell us if you've been ill listening to this by emailing topofthepods@gmail.com - we'll read out any emails we get on http://www.topofthepods.com/.

TOTP - Top Ten Signs That You Are A Geek

Please run through this checklist, we have both scored 6 out of 10 in Robs top ten signs that you are a geek:-

• 10 – Role playing games
• 9 – You run Linux, and boy does everyone else know it
• 8 – You wear sandals
• 7 – You know every blooper and trivia in films
• 6 – Been to sci-fi conventions
• 5 – Engadget not just in your favourites, but also in your RSS feed reader
• 4 – USB enabled everything
• 3 - You compile your own software
• 2 – Pinups are all scifi chicks
• 1 – You look like one

How did you score in this? Let us know by composing a message in Emacs, piping out the results to Sendmail to email topofthepods@gmail.com then pointing Lynx to www.topofthepods.com.

TOTP - Top Ten Hard Animals

Can Jon stop laughing for one minute? Well no as it happens. Like two childish schoolboys Jon and Rob mess about and somehow get around to presenting the Top Ten Hard Animals:-

• 10 – Pirhana
• 9 – Snake
• 8 – Killer bees
• 7 – Rhino
• 6 – Lion
• 5 – Killer Whale
• 4 – Scorpion
• 3 - Black Widow
• 2 – Crocodile
• 1 – Shark

Hey, why not head over to our page on Podcast Alley and click the Vote Now! link to help us climb up those charts and get us noticed? We only need your help for one month to get our site www.topofthepods.com into the public eye for a split second, then a few more people might listen to us. We hope. Also we need to know what you think of the show, are we getting the lists right? Email us at topofthepods@gmail.com or just leave some comments on the blog.

TOTP - Top Ten Ways To Blow A Million

Easy come, easy go, here are the top ten ways to spend one million pounds / dollars / smackers WITHOUT any assets at the end:-

• 10 – Blow it all on the lottery
• 9 – Buy the house / entire street next to Bernard Manning and donate to foreigners
• 8 – Rent a footballer
• 7 – Hire an A List Hollywood actor to come and clean
• 6 – Add all the Sky channels for life
• 5 – Casino
• 4 – Throw a party for tramps
• 3 - Ticket to the moon
• 2 – Put towards an animal hostal
• 1 – Good holiday

Thats it. You know the drill about emailing us at topofthepods@gmail.com, we'll play your stuff on www.topofthepods.com - no questions asked.

TOTP - Top Ten Things To Do On The Toilet

We've finally scraped the bottom of the barrel, here is the Top Ten Things To Do On The Toilet:-

• 10 – Read the newspaper
• 9 – Play with your Pocket PC
• 8 – Browse the Internet (on your Pocket PC)
• 7 – Phone a Friend
• 6 – Crossword
• 5 – Read the shampoo bottle
• 4 – Pick nose
• 3 - Check email (on your Pocket PC)
• 2 – Reading a novel
• 1 – Send a text message

Texting on the loo? Yuk. Tell us if this is normal to topofthepods@gmail.com and we'll read the results on www.topofthepods.com.

TOTP - Top Ten Ideal Flatmates

Ok. You've got a new flat and have to compile a list of potential tennants, dead or alive as your Top Ten Ideal Flatmate. You think this is crazy? Well Rob did it and made a show about it, here is his top ten:-

• 10 – Charlie Dimmock
• 9 – Maggie from How Clean is Your House
• 8 – Mickey Mouse
• 7 – Deliah Smith
• 6 – Noel Edmunds
• 5 – Jeremy Paxman
• 4 – Gandhi
• 3 - Handy Andy
• 2 – Frank Skinner
• 1 – Kylie

We also played our first audio comment from a listener during this show. Would you like to know how to get on? Its easy, just email topofthepods@gmail.com with an attached mp3 and check out our show on www.topofthepods.com. If you don't feel brave enough to record an mp3 then why not try just writing us a list instead?

TOTP - Top Ten Alcoholic Beverages

Thanks to Rowley from Darkcompass for writing this list, it is his Top Ten Alcoholic Beverages:-

• 10 – Champagne
• 9 – Scrumpy Cider
• 8 – Bass Bitter
• 7 – Glenmorangie Whiskey
• 6 – Sambuca
• 5 – Jack Daniels
• 4 – Gin and Tonic
• 3 - Vodka and Coke
• 2 – Tequila
• 1 – Carlsberg

Has anyone noticed that when people send us things we play them on www.topofthepods.com without question? It sounds like a great way to promote your podcast, website, product or service. So why not send us your list, comments, promo clip or mp3 audio comments to topofthepods@gmail.com?

TOTP - Top Ten Things I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up

Dreams and aspirations of great things when we were children. Where did we go wrong? Here is the top ten list of things Rob wanted to be when he grew up:-

• 10 - Fireman
• 9 - Rock Star
• 8 - Millionairre
• 7 - Beer Tester
• 6 - Racing Driver
• 5 - Married to Katherine Zeta Jones
• 4 - Pilot
• 3 - In the A-Team
• 2 - Cowboy
• 1 - Astronaught

Listeners - did any of you ever achieve any of these? If you've become an astronaught, millionairee, beer tester or Micheal Douglas we'd love to hear from you. Especially if you are a millionairre. Send your emails to topofthepods@gmail.com and don't forget to mark in the subject line "Hey, I always wanted to be an XXX and look at me now!". We look forward to hearing from you and reading out your emails on http://www.topofthepods.com/.

TOTP - Top Ten Star Wars People

As if Star Wars hasn't already got all the media limelight a loyal listener has sent in his list of the top ten star wars stars:-

• 10 – Princess Leia
• 9 – Obi Wan Kenobi
• 8 – Grand Master Tarquin (and the furious five?)
• 7 – Chewbacca
• 6 – Admiral Akbar
• 5 – Darth Vader
• 4 – Lando Parisian
• 3 - Storm Trooper(s)
• 2 – Hands Solo
• 1 – Bubba Feet

Star Wars fans - if you know who on earth Grandma Tarkin is (or how to even spell his / her name) please drop us an email to topofthepods@gmail.com explaining, and we'll give you a special mention on the www.topofthepods.com podcast.

TOTP - Top Ten Essential Podcasting Equipment

We couldn't resist it any longer, like every other podcaster we just had to go and talk about our podcasting equipment. So for those building up a home studio and wanting to podcast here is the top ten list of kit for the shopping list in order of importance, and we have also provided audio examples of some of the items in use:-

• 10 – Mic Stand (when we did a demo of stomping on the floor our mic stands did such a good job of filtering out the rumble that nothing came out in this podcast!)
• 9 – Decent cables and an audio patch bay
• 8 – Effects units
• 7 – Audio playback device such as a minidisc, mp3 player or turntables
• 6 – Limiter (this comes into play every time Jon laughs)
• 5 – Noise Gate (try one of these if you have a loud computer fan)
• 4 – Mixing desk (we recommend more than 2 outputs)
• 3 - Compressor
• 2 – A computer that isn't running anything other than your audio recording software.
• 1 – A Mic - look for a decent 48 volt phantom powered condenser mic. We both use the incredible value MXL 990's, which come with a shock cradle and carry case.

When looking for any studio kit try buying it in rack mountable form, buying a £30 rack keeps everything tidy and easily accessible.

For a podcast devoted to audio production visit The Point presented by the audio engineer for IT Conversations Paul Figgiani. Paul also maintains an excellent web site called Podcast Rigs, and has put together some entry, basic and pro example sytems. We also recommend writing your own top ten list, emailing it to topofthepods@gmail.com and then keeping a watchful eye on www.topofthepods.com.

By the way, why don't you vote for us over at podcast alley - we just wanna make it in to the top ten and we'll have done our job (we are a top ten show after all). Thanks if you voted and get your ass over there if you haven't!!