TOTP - Top Ten Things To Think About

Listener Rob from Portsmouth has been thinking very hard - here is the show of ten things he would like us to be pondering over the weekend:-

• 10 - Failing
• 9 - Eggs
• 8 - Humpty Dumpty
• 7 - Wrist pointing
• 6 - Lost things
• 5 - Remote controls
• 4 - Bus stops
• 3 - Turning car radios down
• 2 - Taking dumps
• 1 - Stars

Got anything you'd like us to ponder? Email topofthepods@gmail.com with your lists, if you are around on Monday evening around 8pm (UK time) then why not skype the show using by adding topofthepods to your list of contacts (remember to plug a microphone in first).

TOTP - Top Ten Rob And Jon Wonders

Looks like we are over the worst of the server problems from Blogger so on with the show. This is a terribly bad self indulgent show today, but Ben emailed us with ten questions about ourselves so we thought we'd make a show out of it:-

• 10 - Does Rob own a Mac?
• 9 - Does Jon own a PC?
• 8 - What music do Jon and Rob listen too?
• 7 - Who's idea was it to start the podcast?
• 6 - Will Jon and Rob ever manage to make a weeks worth of podcasts?
• 5 - Will Jon ever work out how to use the jingle machine?
• 4 - Is Rob a lawyer?
• 3 - Will Jon ever lose his passion for trucks?
• 2 - Can Jon and Rob break dance?
• 1 - Does Rob have a wife?

Any more questions you'd like us to answer then pop them in the comments board on the site.

TOTP - Top Ten Best Corny Action Movies and Shows

Ed sends the list, Ande Smallwood from the Premiership Podcast joins the chat and Jon and Rob read out the ten best corny action movies:-

• 10 - Spy Kids
• 9 - Power Rangers
• 8 - The A Team
• 7 - Magnum PI
• 6 - The Transporter
• 5 - The Old Batman Show
• 4 - Walker Texas Ranger
• 3 - Spider Man
• 2 - COPS
• 1 - MacGyver

Send in your comments, lists and audio clips to topofthepods@gmail.com and we'll see about reading some of your stuff out.

TOTP - Top Ten Worst Jobs You Could Have As A Kid

Interesting show today, Gavin from New Jersey emailed topofthepods@gmail.com with his list of household chores he hates having to do:-

• 10 - Making the bed
• 9 - Folding clothes
• 8 - Scraping gum
• 7 - Raking leaves
• 6 - Weeding
• 5 - Scraping off tissue
• 4 - Scrubbing the shower floor
• 3 - Taking out the trash
• 2 - Picking up dog poo
• 1 - Cleaning the bathroom

We also joined by Simon from the Slam Idol Podcast using the miracle of Skype. Want to talk to us too? Then download Skype here then add topofthepods to your friends list.

TOTP - Top Ten Noel Edmonds Shows

Today Ande Smallwood from the football related Premiership Podcast puts down his balls to tell us more about Noel Edmonds, and brings us his list of the Top Ten Noel Edmonds shows:-

• 10 - The National Lottery
• 9 - Come Dancing
• 8 - Top Of The Pop's
• 7 - The Late Late Breakfast Show
• 6 - Top Gear
• 5 - Telly Addict's
• 4 - Multi Colured Swap Shop
• 3 - Noel's House Party
• 2 - Deal Or No Deal
• 1 - Noel's Christmas Present's

Have a good weekend, if you are bored then why not spend some time recording us an audio comment and emailing it to topofthepods@gmail.com.

TOTP - Top Ten Reasons To Cover Yourself In Chocolate

Here we have a list from US based Rob with his ten reasons to cover himself in chocolate:-

• 10 - You will smell nice
• 9 - You will taste nice
• 8 - People will be eager to help you
• 7 - You will attract animals
• 6 - Have the best Halloween costume on the block
• 5 - Get spotted by an advertising executive and possibly be put in a chocolate advert
• 4 - Start a new trend
• 3 - Cure your addiction to chocolate forever
• 2 - Finally gain the attention of girls when they come over to lick you
• 1 - Everyone will love you!

If you'd like to send us your lists and audio comments then email topofthepods@gmail.com.

TOTP - Top Ten Things That Make You Feel Sick

Don't even attempt to listen to this show while you are eating, as today Paul Nicholls joins us via Skype (excuse the quality) to list his ten things that make him feel sick:-

• 10 - Putting your fingers down your throat
• 9 - The thought of the smell of cheap hot dogs and burger smells
• 8 - The smell of old people's homes
• 7 - Seeing poo
• 6 - Body odour from a co-worker
• 5 - Too much booze
• 4 - Seeing someone eating bogeys
• 3 - Gory films
• 2 - Too much of any food
• 1 - The smell of (and hearing / watching) someone else being sick

TOTP - Top Ten Things I Would Do If I Could Pause Time

Following the time travel theme from yesterday, Sean from Riverside issued us with a challenge to write a top ten of things that we would do if we could pause time:-

• 10 - Sleep on the job
• 9 - Not worry about an extended toilet break
• 8 - Look up stuff on the internet quickly to appear intelligent
• 7 - Rob a bank
• 6 - Throw rocks and stuff in water to see what splashes look like in slow motion
• 5 - Look up girls
• 4 - Shave parts of Jon
• 3 - Answer all my emails
• 2 - Dodge bullets
• 1 - Reposition people

We also talked to Linda on Skype about Podcastuser Magazine - this is a free magazine available from http://www.podcastusermagazine.com. We also talked to songwriter Jeff Shields about the great song he wrote for us, you can read more about Jeff at his bio page and download some of his tunes at SoundClick.

TOTP - Top Ten Rejected Plotlines for Back To The Future

Mark from Texas loves the movie Back To The Future as much as we do, and decided to send us his list of some plotlines that didn't quite make it onto the desk of Robert Zemeckis:-

• 10 - Marty and the Doc travel to the future where they find Jon and Rob have been elected Rulers of the Universe and everything has gone to hell.
• 9 - Marty and the Doc travel to the past once again to thwart Biff Tannens attempts to subjugate Marty’s dad and ensnare his mom, all while trying not to change the course of history. Only this time they're all played by chimps!
• 8 - Marty and the Doc travel into the near future to witness the unveiling of the new X-Box 360 and are horribly, horribly disappointed.
• 7 - Marty (played by Jean-Claude Van Damme) and the Doc (played by Steven Segal) travel into the future to take on a band of evil cyber-terrorists with their individual and unique fighting styles amid a variety of explosions, car chases, and street fights and it all sucks.
• 6 - Marty and the Doc travel one day into the future to determine what the lunch special will be at their local Golden Corral buffet restaurant and it turns out to be prime rib. That’s it Just prime rib.
• 5 - Marty and the Doc, a pair of 'randy' secret agents, are frozen in a block of ice until such a time as their evil arch-nemesis returns to threaten the world with his miniaturized clone and myriad of other hilarious, incredibly marketable characters and catch-phrases. When they are unfrozen forty years later they must deal not only with the many changes and challenges of the modern world, but also a stingy female secret agent who actually turns out to be an android. Hilarity ensues!
• 4 - Marty and the Doc travel perilously through the past, present, and future risking their lives and the lives of all mankind in order to bring about WORLD PEACE. Take THAT, Jon/Rob.
• 3 - Marty and the Doc travel nowhere because gas prices are too high, so they hang out at Doc’s house listening to podcasts and eating Hot Pockets all day.
• 2 - Marty and the Doc travel back to the 1970s and discover that, yes, people actually did dress like that.
• 1 - Marty and the Doc travel far into the future where they find that people no longer are confined to wearing pants and all of the chairs are covered in a soft, lavender velvet that feels nice.

Stars wanted: We are looking for people to call us up on Skype and star on the show - add the username topofthepods to your contact list and say hello next time you see our status set to 'Skype Me'.

If you are too shy you can still email topofthepods@gmail.com with your comments and lists.

TOTP - Top Ten Dining Faux Pas

Social elite member Geoff sent us his top ten list of things you shouldn't do at the dinner table. He just emailed topofthepods@gmail.com with his list and we read it out:-

• 10 - Complaining to the French
• 9 - Cutlery
• 8 - Tipping
• 7 - Table things
• 6 - Belching or worse
• 5 - Greedy
• 4 - Wine tasting
• 3 - Bill spliting
• 2 - Slurping
• 1 - Smoking

Issue 2 of PodcastUser is out and features an article that Jon cut and pasted from his website wrote especially for the online magazine. This is a free PDF available to download and features stories for geeks podcasters and people with nothing better to do on a Friday listeners alike.

Site : http://podcastusermagazine.com

Direct download : Podusermag-issue2.pdf

Is the sound quality ok? We've been getting mixed reports from listeners - let us know what you think on our comments board please.

TOTP - Top Ten Things That Annoy You About Motorways

SMS Text Addict gave us this list of things that he hates about being in his car on the motorway:-

• 10 - Fog lights
• 9 - Fuel prices
• 8 - Service stations
• 7 - Traffic jams
• 6 - Dot matrix
• 5 - Roadworks
• 4 - Speed cameras
• 3 - Tailgaters
• 2 - Mobile phones
• 1 - Middle lane hoggers

Keep those audio comments and lists flooding into topofthepods@gmail.com - sorry if you have sent something in recently and we haven't replied, we are slowly working our way through the gmail and promise that we'll write back soon.

TOTP - Top Ten Excuses Women Use To End A Relationship

Ironmonger Scott from Doncaster hasn't the luck with the ladies, here are ten of the excuses women have used to finish with poor Scott:-

• 10 - Don't trust
• 9 - Obsessive
• 8 - Something you don't have
• 7 - Like the girls
• 6 - Betting
• 5 - Spark has gone
• 4 - Affair
• 3 - Spend more time with mates
• 2 - Space
• 1 - Just isn't working

TOTP - Top Ten Sandwich Fillings

What do you get when you ask two guys to talk about food for twenty minutes? A really poor excuse for a podcast. We promise we'll try harder for Wednesday evenings show, but for now here is a list of ten sandwich fillings from Stu:-

• 10 - Egg and Cress
• 9 - Roast Chicken or Turkey
  
• 8 - Cheese and Tomato
• 7 - Steak and Cheese
• 6 - Roast Beef
  
• 5 - Turkey, Crispy bacon, Cranberry and Stuffing
• 4 - Corn Beef Hash Butty
• 3 - Scouse Butty
• 2 - All Day Breakfast
• 1 - Cheese and Branston Pickle

Thanks to Stu and everyone else who came to see us perform at the Lance Anderson Podcast Experiment.

TOTP - Top Ten People WIth Le In Their Name

Always on the look out for trivial lists Jon and Rob read out this list of ten famous people with Le in their names (if any wizard with imdb.com knows what search query we would use to generate a proper list then please let us know):-

• 10 - Simon Le Bon and/or Yasmin Le Bon
• 9 - Pepper Le Pew
• 8 - Mark Le Shark
• 7 - Lemar
• 6 - Mark Le Marr
• 5 - Matt Le Blanc
• 4 - Jamie Lee Curtis
• 3 - Bruce Lee
• 2 - Lemal
• 1 - Danny Le Rue

With any luck the issues with our host will have been resolved and you'll be hearing us loud and clear. Thanks to Dave from Libsyn (support@libsyn.com) and Rick from Feedburner (rickk@feedburner.com) for their time and support.

Don't forget that we are appearing at the Lance Anderson Podcast Experiment this Friday night and we'd love to meet you all there - visit www.highblue.co.uk/events for more details.

TOTP - Top Ten Reasons To See The Lance Anderson Podcast Experiment

We are going to be making fools of ourselves at the Rose Theatre in Liverpool. If you'd like to watch two grown men from Peterborough cry in front of a live audience then phone 01695 584480, or visit www.highblue.co.uk/events. Here are ten more reasons to go:-

• 10 - Less than a tenner.
• 9 - Christmas present
• 8 - Hotrod Cadets
• 7 - Mark Hunter
• 6 - Dan Klass
• 5 - Lancashire
• 4 - Strangers
• 3 - A podcasting first
• 2 - Hear Lance Anderson’s story "No, I didnt even kiss her". The story of his first love who was too shy to even kiss him, who went on to be one of the biggest adult movie stars of the 1980s.
• 1 - Jon and Rob

Challenge for you all - download Slickr, find the best tags for this wonderful screensaver and write them down on our www.topofthepods.com comments board, along with the reasons why. We might even to a show if we get enough good ones...

TOTP - Top Ten Tim Burton Movies

Its been a long time since we've heard from Rowley from Dark Compass, being a fan of Tim Burton Rowley sent us a list of the ten best films by the famous director:-

• 10 - Planet of the Apes
• 9 - Ed Wood
• 8 - Mars Attacks
• 7 - Big Fish
• 6 - Nightmare Before Christmas
• 5 - Sleepy Hollow
• 4 - Beetle Juice
• 3 - Batman
• 2 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• 1 - Edward Scissorhands

This is a repost due to known compatibility problems between feedburner and libsyn servers, experts at feedburner are apparently working on it. When this is fixed we'll be able to do more shows, at present we are wasting an hour per show. Comments from the old post have been archived here.

TOTP - Top Ten Most Embarrassing Things Your Mum Could Say

You might want to vet this before having this show in the car. Its Kerrin's turn today for the worst possible things your mum could say to show you up:-

• 10 - Dolls
• 9 - Playing with girls
• 8 - Pooing yourself
• 7 - Forgot PE Kit
• 6 - Marry best friend
• 5 - Hitting puberty
• 4 - Bed wetting
• 3 - Tampering
• 2 - Baby food
• 1 - Mucky stash

Did we mention The Half Show today? Head over to http://thehalfshow.libsyn.com for some really cool music.

Tech Tags: Podcast Podcasting Podcasts iPod daily Daily Life Top+Of+The+Pods Top+10 Top+Ten Top+10+list Top+Ten+lists topofthepods

TOTP - Top Ten Times You Really Wish You Had Your MP3 Player

Hannah co-wrote this list with Rob, bringing together the ten worst times in your life when you forgot your mp3 player:-

• 10 - Random song stuck in your head
• 9 - Doctors
• 8 - Showing off
• 7 - Family meals
• 6 - Car
• 5 - Shopping
• 4 - Treadmill
• 3 - Noisey environments
• 2 - Public buildings
• 1 - Daily walks that go much quicker with an iPod

Thanks for that Hannah, and everyone please keep those mp3 audio comments coming to topofthepods@gmail.com. The easiest way to record an audio comment is to plug a microphone into your computer, use free software like Audacity (PC / Mac / Linux) to record your message, then attach the saved WAV or MP3 file to an email. Try to keep 'em short and sweet - no clever stuff needed, we just like hearing you say nice things about us!

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TOTP - Top Ten Household Appliances That Are Catastrophic If They Break Or Go Wrong

James from Luton clearly hasn't heard of extended warranty, here is a list of things that he can't live without around the house:-

• 10 - Iron
• 9 - Vacuum Cleaner
• 8 - TV
• 7 - Stereo System
• 6 - Fridge Or Freezer
• 5 - Microwave And Cooker
• 4 - Shower
• 3 - Washing Machine
• 2 - Central Heating Boiler
• 1 - Kettle

We have almost run out of audio comments - send your mp3 messages over to topofthepods@gmail.com and try and keep them as short and sweet as possible.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things You May Not Know About Marilyn Monroe

The beautiful Melinda from the My Marilyn Podcast is a keen fan of Marilyn Monroe, one of the best examples of a specialist podcast. She has chosen to share with the world ten things you may not know about Marilyn Monroe :-

• 10 - She was married 3 times.
• 9 - She was smart.
• 8 - She appeared in 29 films during her 13 year career.
• 7 - The dress she wore to sing Happy Birthday to John F Kennedy was sold by her estate at a Christies auction for 1.13 million dollars in 1999.
• 6 - She suffered from a gynaecological disorder and was unable to have children.
• 5 - She was a talented actress.
• 4 - She never met Elvis Presley or James Dean.
• 3 - She started her own production company.
• 2 - She was born Norma Jeane Mortenson.
• 1 - She was the first Playboy centerfold.

If you 'd like to know more about Marilyn Monroe we suggest heading over to http://www.mymarilyn.ca, its way more educational and entertaining than anything the biography channel would churn out.

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TOTP - Top Ten List Of Hardcore Tunes

Hardcore - you know the score. Loyal listener Bazza took off his raving shoes, pink bobble hat, neon glow sticks and whistle just to write down his list of the best techno hardcore tunes:-

• 10 - Unique - Feelin' Fine
• 9 - Cris.E.Manic - Just One More
• 8 - Darren Styles - Cutting Deep (VIP Mix)
• 7 - Euphoria - Silver Dawn
• 6 - Gammer - A New Feeling
• 5 - Force and Styles - Heart Of Gold
• 4 - Deddley and Gammar - Mars ATX
• 3 - Force and Styles - Pacific Sun
• 2 - CLSM - Free Your Mind (Sy and Unknown Remix)
• 1 - Frantic and Resist - Spending My Time

Keep those audio comments and lists flooding into topofthepods@gmail.com. If you are interested in podcasting then you might like to download the free Podcast User Magazine - available now at http://www.podcastusermagazine.com featuring Top of the Pods!

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TOTP - Top Ten Things That Irritate Emos

XLoserXChickX is not just a fine example of British Jewth, but also an Emo. In todays show we find out a little more about Emos and what upsets them:-

• 10 - Adults that don't understand
• 9 - Emus
• 8 - Don't know what one is
• 7 - Pop stars that try
• 6 - No charge in your ipod
• 5 - Christmas
• 4 - Paying for gigs
• 3 - Chavs
• 2 - Emo boys being called gay
• 1 - Being called goths

Sorry about the sound quality of tonights show, slightly bad settings for the first 5 minutes but the rest of the show is much better - worth staying around for the Jewish quiz at the end we think. We also added another artist to our backing tracks; the talented Rob Hughes of www.robhughesmusic.com sent us the album Butterfly - worth a trip to the web site to sample some of the tracks properly.

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TOTP - Top Ten Winners In A Marshall Arts Fight

Robs mind conjoured up an imaginary fight with ten of the worlds best marshall artists, here is the results table which we made into a podcast:-

• 10 - Steven Segal
• 9 - Jean Clawed Van Damm
• 8 - Jet Lee
• 7 - Jackie Chan
• 6 - Neo
• 5 - Kill Bill Chick
• 4 - Monkey
• 3 - Tony Jaa from Ong Bak (Purchase from Amazon)
• 2 - Bruce Lee
• 1 - Mr Miagi

Thanks to Baxter for emailing topofthepods@gmail.com with a short mp3 for us to play, why don't you do the same?

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TOTP - Top Ten Reasons Why We Haven't Done A Podcast Since Friday

Hello friends. I know you're wondering where we are and I am wondering why we haven't put a single show together this week. So instead of leaving the comments board to fill up with where are we's, i thought I would write a top ten reasons why we ain't been around. I am thinking I may record a little voice thing to go with it, but not having access to the Top Of The Pods studio today would mean a really crappy show and of course one without Rob too. So if there is a crappy show, soz for the crappyness and if there isn't soz for wetting your appetite :-

• 10 - The Dog ate us
  
• 9 - Jon is taking the week off to catch up with Rob's obsessive LOST viewing
  
• 8 - Rob finally heard a girl fart and has been admitted to Peterborough General with Palpitations
  
• 7 - Jon decided to start his own podcast, "JEWnews"
  
• 6 - Rob is decorating his entire house with laminate flooring both on the floors and walls, but strangly he is leaving the ceilings as they are.
  
• 5 - Jon has decided everything is 'Rubbish' and has refused to leave his rubbish house
  
• 4 - Rob's Pocket PC ran out of battery on Monday afternoon and he is currently lost trying to find his way home from work.
  
• 3 - Jon has been banned from broadcasting for mentioning Israel far too many times and all the other countries are feeling left out.
  
• 2 - Rob confided to Jon that he loves him and Jon is just a little bit worried that an affiar really could complicate the smooth running of the show.
  
• 1 - Jon (this is my list so of course I am at number 1) is taking time apart from Top Of The Pods and is concerntrating on a solo project which is titled 'How To Deal With Fame After Podcasting'.
  

Erm that's it. Sorry it's not the real deal, but we have both been working like moogs to hit some pretty important deadlines and we hope to be back in the driving seat either tomorrow or by the latest, Monday. I may put up additional crap if we don't get back before monday so sorry again if that happens. Other than that, you know the score at the alley and stuff like that so do what you all love to do and keep the emails rolling and the comments board filling up. Peace guys... Jonathan...TOTP

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TOTP - Top Ten Things That Make A Cheesy Summer Hit

Our wonderful SMS text addict sent us in a list that will take us all down a musical memory lane:-

• 10 - Usually an unknown artist from Europe, often Holland
• 9 - Bought by millions of teeny boppers
• 8 - You secretly like the tune
• 7 - The unique dance
• 6 - A-list celeb creation
• 5 - One hit wonders
• 4 - Catchy and annoying
• 3 - One of these tunes every summer
• 2 - Played every 10 minutes
• 1 - You cringe a year later

Download and listen to the mp3, and don't forget to have a good weekend. Got nothing to do? Then write us a list and email it to topofthepods@gmail.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Impersonations Billy Would Like To Hear Rob Attempt

How embarrassing! Billy sent Rob a list of impressions he'd like him to do :-

• 10 - John Wayne
• 9 - Jerry Adams
• 8 - The Queen
• 7 - Darth Vader
• 6 - Mr Humphries
• 5 - George Bush
• 4 - Sean Connery
• 3 - Michael Cane
• 2 - Arnold Schwarzenegger
• 1 - Delia Smith

Download the mp3 of the show here to cringe more than Rob did. Horrid, horrid show...

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TOTP - Top Ten Mistakes Men Make With Women

From those casanovas who send out emails to lonely men comes a long list of mistakes that fellas make with the girls. Download the mp3 of the show or get yourself some free software like iTunes which automatically downloads the mp3 for you:-

• 10 - Getting help
• 9 - Not knowing what to do
• 8 - Giving away power
• 7 - Money and looks
• 6 - Not understanding how attraction works
• 5 - Letting your feelings be known
• 4 - Buying her affection
• 3 - Approval and permission
• 2 - Convincing her to like you
• 1 - Too much of nice guy

If you are a girl then let us know some of the mistakes us men make using the comments board. Failing that if you want to get into a debate about the latest episode of Lost on the comments board like everyone does.

Tech Tags: dating advice Podcast Podcasting Podcasts iPod daily Daily Life Top+Of+The+Pods Top+10 Top+Ten Top+10+list Top+Ten+lists topofthepods

TOTP - Top Ten Worst Hair Styles

David from Austin, Texas went to a lot of trouble to send us his list of the ten worst hair styles - here is the mp3 of the show to download:-

• 10 - Elvis Impersonator
• 9 - Perm
• 8 - Afro
• 7 - Mushroom
• 6 - Skullet
• 5 - Beehive
• 4 - Bowl
• 3 - Mohawk
• 2 - Comb-over
• 1 - Mullet

If you are still visiting www.topofthepods.com on a daily basis to check for new shows then why not use some free software like iTunes or Juice instead. These will automatically download our latest shows direct onto your computer or mp3 player.

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TOTP - Top Ten Unofficial Ambassadors For England

Discussions with Chicago Matt brought to light some of the unofficial ambassadors for England available to download in this mp3 file. Sound quality on this podcast isn't perfect as Rob forgot to switch his mic on, but what the heck, tomorrows show should be better:-

• 10 - Sir Elton John
• 9 - Prince Charles and Prince William
• 8 - Tony Blair
• 7 - David Beckham
• 6 - David Brent
• 5 - Gordon Brown
• 4 - James Bond
• 3 - Hugh Grant
• 2 - Paul MacCartney
• 1 - Mr Bean

Once again, don't forget to vote for us at Podcast Alley and drop us a review at Podfeed.net.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things That Come Out Of Fall Or Grow In The Sky Or Trees

Sean sent this email to topofthepods@gmail.com with a list of ten things that fall from various places - probably one of the strangest lists we have had so far:-

• 10 - Bird feces
• 9 - Rain, snow and sleet
• 8 - Cats and dogs
• 7 - Money
• 6 - Aeroplanes
• 5 - Fruit
• 4 - Suicide
• 3 - Squirrels
• 2 - 40 Ton Anvils
• 1 - Balloons

Now it's near the weekend you should have time to visit podcast alley and drop us a vote if you haven't already.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things You Get For Christmas That You Didnt Want

Sarah from Texas might seem ungrateful, but at least she is honest. Here is the mp3 file to listen to containing a list of ten things that she gets every christmas that she didn't want:-

• 10 - Earmuffs
• 9 - Bath supplies
• 8 - Letters but no cash
• 7 - Clothes
• 6 - School supplies
• 5 - Jewelry
• 4 - Big jackets
• 3 - Socks
• 2 - Towels
• 1 - Fruitcake

Thanks for all the great emails from people over this last week, keep 'em coming to topofthepods@gmail.com - if you include an mp3 with it we'll probably play it on the show. We mentioned about Tivo adding podcasting to it's feature list (such a shame it's not available here in the UK - we only get Sky Plus). We think it would be an ideal opportunity for Tivo audiences to be able to have access to our show if it is easy to find in their built in directory , if you think this is a great idea too then why don't you ask Tivo?

Update: there is a known issue with using Feedburner with Libsyn so this is a repost - just waiting for the support departments from both companies to get in touch, neither have contact us yet. This is a repost, meaning that we've had to archive the old comments.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things System Administrators Do To Annoy Users

Mr Admin (if that is his real name) has some series issues which he chooses to share with us, here are the top ten of the most evil things that he gets up to whilst in control of computer networks:-

• 10 - Remotely rebooting PCs just as users try and save their data
• 9 - Putting in email filters to send yourself a copy of all the jpegs that people email
• 8 - Coming into work early and making sure you are visibly seen tampering with a users system.
• 7 - Hiding critically important user files
• 6 - Randomly deleting email with a subject line of test
• 5 - Asking users to reboot their systems while holding down specific key combinations
• 4 - Leafing through users browser history for dodgy blackmail material
• 3 - Mis-directing email for fun and profit
• 2 - Reacting really slowly when someone asks "My god - Can you stop an email I've just sent?!"
• 1 - Making someones PC play the theme tune to Heidi at random intervals through the day

Here is the mp3 of the show. Plus another quiz and a badly rendered (probably non-child safe) song in our outtakes section at the end. When you are done listening to this can you do us a big favour and pay a visit to the Top Of The Pods page at podcast alley for a quick vote? If you would like to send us your list of top ten items then email topofthepods@gmail.com as we are also low on audio comments so get recording now!

We'd like to see some ideas on the www.topofthepods.com comments board for this post for things that users can do to annoy system administrator too. Be inventive and the best ideas will make it into a forthcoming list.

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TOTP - Top Ten Daily Annoyances

Jon and Rob are both back from their festive break to bring you Simon's Top Ten Daily Annoyances (mp3 file). These are things that got on Simon's nerves so much that he emailed topofthepods@gmail.com with his list:-

• 10 - Lawn long
• 9 - Wheelie bin full
• 8 - Window adverts
• 7 - Partner TV chats
• 6 - Car indicators
• 5 - Washing up
• 4 - Motorway service coffee machines
• 3 - No toilet paper
• 2 - Going back out for milk and bread
• 1 - Overtake then slow down

We also do some late Christmas present opening and a special truck related transportation quiz at the end of today's show. Do us a favour and email us some audio comments to topofthepods@gmail.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Happy Things That Creep Me Out

We do daily shows and our subscribers go down, we disappear for two weeks and figures go through the roof - is someone trying to tell us something here? Rob got thinking about ten seemingly innocent things that really give him the willies and recorded this mp3 podcast with them all on:-

• 10 - Music boxes
• 9 - Peewee Herman
• 8 - Twins
• 7 - Brass ornaments
• 6 - Roosters spurs
• 5 - Boots makeup girls
• 4 - Masks
• 3 - Yoko Ono
• 2 - Puppets
• 1 - Clowns

You like these lists? Then send us yours to topofthepods@gmail.com and we'll be sure to read it out on www.topofthepods.com. Thanks everyone for sticking with us while we took time off podcasting, we'll make up for it we promise.

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TOTP - Top Ten Christopher Walken Films

Now standing for President in the States, here is Rowleys Top Ten of Christopher Walken Films:-

• 10 - Things to do in Denver when you are dead
• 9 - Antz
• 8 - The Stepford Wives
• 7 - American Sweethearts
• 6 - Pulp Fiction
• 5 - Batman Returns
• 4 - The Dead Zone
• 3 - The Deer Hunter
• 2 - Sleepy Hollow
• 1 - A View To A Kill

Looking at the huge drop in stats it seems like half our audience have gone to visit their parents for Thanksgiving. So take advantage of becoming technical support, while you are fixing your Moms email account then why install Juice or iTunes and subscribe to www.topofthepods.com? You might also want to test Moms email account by generating a test message from www.podcastalley.com. Happy holidays, we'll be back on Monday.

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TOTP - Top Ten Ways To Tell You Are An SMS Text Message Addict

On today's show Paul sends us ten tell tale signs that we could be using our mobile phone text messaging a little too much:-

• 10 - Text only friends
• 9 - T9 is quicker
• 8 - Bluejacking
• 7 - Quicker than QWERTY
• 6 - The arrival buzz
• 5 - Spam yourself
• 4 - TXT SPK
• 3 - Communicate more via text than by talking
• 2 - Withdrawal symptoms
• 1 - Checking the phone every 10 seconds

What more can we say? Send us your audio comments to topofthepods@gmail.com so we can play you on the show.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things That Are 99 Percent Unlikely To Happen

Richard sent us this wonderful top ten list about things that ain't gonna happen:-

• 10 - Time Travel
• 9 - Teleporting
• 8 - Living Forever
• 7 - Classless Society
• 6 - End of Technology Development
• 5 - End of Human Curiosity
• 4 - World Peace
• 3 - End of Taxes
• 2 - End of Pollution
• 1 - End of the Universe

Sorry if the show goes on a little too long, feel free to complain to topofthepods@gmail.com - we are just making up for not doing a show this friday.

This is another repost - either feedburner or libsyn are playing up - does anyone else who uses this combination have the same problem?

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TOTP - Top Ten More Canadian Misconceptions

Worst show ever, not the fault of the list - just some bad advice. Don't listen to this show. If you have other podcasts to listen to then spend half an hour on one of those instead:-

• 10 - That it snows here in July.
• 9 - That Toronto is the capital city.
• 8 - That Canadians are so polite that we never swear.
• 7 - That Celin Dion is Canadian.
• 6 - That we end each sentence with the word 'eh'.
• 5 - That the national animal is the moose.
• 4 - Newfoundland are a bit slower than the rest of the country.
• 3 - That there are no great Canadian podcasts.
• 2 - That our national anthem is the lumberjack song .
• 1 - That Canada is part of America.

We think we might have done this show already, sorry if we have!

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TOTP - Top Ten Fun Things To Do On The Web

Its Friday, and if you haven't got anything better to do whilst stuck at work then why not try some of the following web sites:-

• 10 - Comcastic - record your voice and puppeteer it
• 9 - Clientcopia - stories about bad clients
• 8 - Flash Award Winners - top flash web sites [PAGE TAKEN DOWN], Typedrawing - pictures with words
• 7 - Google Earth - travel the world, Celebrity maps - find out where Steven Segal lives
  NASA World Wind- the NASA version of Google Earth
• 6 - Tokyo Plastic - funky fresh design agency
• 5 - Music Plasma - Flash website with music, bands, actors, film all joined together, Kevin Bacon Game
• 4 - Top Lookalikes - except they don't look anything like them, Jons Nobby The Tramp story from the Peterborough Evening Telegraph
• 3 - Fun phrases into google - eg "She’d only gone and", "I don't hate women, but" and "I’d rather stick my"
• 2 - Yetisports - arctic fun, Bug Me Not - never register for another password again
• 1 - Other peoples photo collections - Google Images - eg searching for "DSC00004", "IMG00029), Flickr Flash Browser, Google Montage, Fat Chicks In Party Hats (Not safe for work or kids, but very funny).

If you are new to the www.topofthepods.com web site you might be wondering where these links are - click on the 'Display the spoilers' link in the left hand column. We hid them so we don't spoil the surprise of the show.

What keeps you busy at the work on the web? Pop your cool distractions on the comments board for this post and we might even do another show about them. Keep 'em clean, if not email them to topofthepods@gmail.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Favourite Sweets

We hope you are not feeling hungry whilst listening to today's show as Alex from Warlingham in Surrey brings up the subject of his favourite candy:-

• 10 - Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum
• 9 - Space Rocks
• 8 - Gobstoppers
• 7 - Black Jacks
• 6 - Starburst / Opal Fruits
• 5 - Dairy Milk
• 4 - Strawberry Sherbets
• 3 - Cadburys Flake
• 2 - Texan Bar
• 1 - Mars Bar

Bored? Then why not knock us up a top ten list and email it to topofthepods@gmail.com, we'll read it out on http://www.topofthepods.com/. Alex also wanted to plug http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/ for some strange reason, not sure if Alex is on commission or not. But if you do buy anything and there is one of those questions that says 'Where did you hear about www.cybercandy.co.uk then please give us a mention. If they send us anything then we'll donate it to needy orphans and family members for Christmas.

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TOTP - Top Ten Celebs We Really Want To Listen To This Show

What really motivates Jon and Rob to Podcast is knowing that these ten people might well be listening to our show:-

• 10 - Ozone and Turbo from Breakdance The Movie
• 9 - Hurley from Lost
• 8 - Edward Norton
• 7 - Tim from Radio Clash
• 6 - Clifton James
• 5 - Daphne Zuniga
• 4 - John Cusack
• 3 - Mike Reid (aka Frank Butcher)
• 2 - Gill Grissom from CSI (aka William L.Petersen)
• 1 - Terry Silver from Karate Kid Part 3

If you know any of these people then please do us a favour and tell them about http://www.topofthepods.com - we'll be sitting and monitoring the topofthepods@gmail.com email account for one of these people to make us very happy. Imagine the look on our friends faces if we told them Terry Silver listens to our show.

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TOTP - Top Ten SciFi Movies

Rowley from www.darkcompass.com gives it to us SciFi style with his top ten scifi movies:-

• 10 - Spaceballs
• 9 - Star Trek 6 - The Undiscovered Country
• 8 - Pitch Black
• 7 - Akira
• 6 - Forbidden Planet
• 5 - Terminator
• 4 - Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back
• 3 - Alien
• 2 - The Matrix
• 1 - Blade Runner

Don't forget if you want to have your list on www.topofthepods.com then email topofthepods@gmail.com. Or just email topofthepods@gmail.com and say hi. Either way topofthepods@gmail.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Tips For Blokes On The Pull

Toria offers the single lads some insider information about how to impress the hot chickadees this weekend:-

• 10 - Look Good
• 9 - Compliments
• 8 - Stand Out
• 7 - Be Nice
• 6 - Smile
• 5 - Dance
• 4 - Be Funny
• 3 - Be Yourself
• 2 - Intelligent Conversation
• 1 - Be Confident

Obviously there's not a single bloke alive that possesses more than one of these qualities, even if we were capable of all ten then we'd still get complaints about leaving the toilet seat up. Let us know how well you all get on - depending on how things go Toria could be looking at hosting the Podcasting equivalent of blind date if these tips actually work. We personally recommend plenty of drinks and lying profusely.

This is a repost, either Feedburner or Libsyn hasn't been behaving and making things work with your podcasting software - you can still see yesterdays comments here. While you have the weekend with nothing to do we are running dry of audio comments so why not say hello into a microphone and email the recording to topofthepods@gmail.com.

*The phrase 'On The Pull' is an English phrase meaning to go out in the evening and meet young ladies with the view to going on a date, it's nothing rude.

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TOTP - Top Ten Ways To Blow A Tenner

Shame on Jon, Kevin wrote this list and Jon took all the credit. Here are some great things you can do with a ten pound note that is burning a hole in your pocket:-

• 10 - Buy 10 Big Issues and then stand near/opposite to the guy you bought them off offering them at a cheaper price.
• 9 - Order an adult magazine/video/DVD of some obscure fetish from the internet and have it delivered to one of your friends.
• 8 - Buy 2 tamagotchi and take them to an animal shelter saying you can’t properly care for your pets any longer.
• 7 - Offer it as 1st prize at an impromptu diving contest at your nearest pool with Olympic height diving board.
• 6 - Purchase as many cans/bottles of coca cola as possible and walk around your city centre giving them to people and hugging them just like the advert.
• 5 - Paypal donation to www.topofthepods.com account.
• 4 - Sign your best mate up to a gay dating agency - supply every contact detail.
• 3 - Buy five pints and a packet of dry roasted peanuts down the working mans club and consume them all in 45 mins.
• 2 - Pay a musical busker to do an hours set of the most irritating songs you can think of.
• 1 - Buy 1000 White chocolate mice penny sweets at newsagents just to make the guy at the counter count them out. Pay for them in pennies for bonus points.

We'd also like to thank Mark B, Mike Kuhse, Jo Vile, Sean from Riverside, Grant from Leith, Tom the Truck driver, Richard, Alex from Warlingham, Mike from the 6620 West Kidcast and Molly. Also Linda who send us an email saying "I didn't bother to join in the 'what I would do with a tenner' contest, but no matter."

Also mentioned during the show was www.allofmp3.com (for music), www.karmabanque.com (for reasons why we shouldn't drink Coca Cola) and www.cybercandy.co.uk (for a great way to blow ten quid on sweets).

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TOTP - Top Ten Things About Hollow Horse

Hollow Horse sent us their great album called Beggarstown recently with the challenge of doing a show about it. He also gave us ten anecdotes about the band which are very hard to summarize in the shownotes, instead here are the tracks that we played in the background:-

• 10 - Life is Fine, But It Could Be Wonderful
• 9 - Love One Another
• 8 - If Love Is The Answer, What Was The Question
• 7 - Just To Know That You Are In The World
• 6 - Right Beside You
• 5 - Half Way There
• 4 - Do What You Do Best
• 3 - Forget The Girl
• 2 - Wait
• 1 - I'm Left Wondering

If you'd like to know more about Hollow Horse then head over to http://www.hollowhorse.co.uk and show your support for these great musicians by buying the album, if only for the wonderful track 'I'm Left Wondering'. If you like this type of music then why subscribe to these two great musical podcasts http://www.tartanpodcast.com and http://www.threefromleith.blogspot.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Barry Pepper Films

Its a movie list today which has kindly been supplied by Roger from Guildford. He's a big fan of the film star Barry Pepper and has graciously compiled his favourite ten movies:-

• 10 - Titanic the TV series
• 9 - 25th Hour
• 8 - We Were Soldiers
• 7 - Saving Private Ryan
• 6 - The Dale Earnhart Story
• 5 - The Green Mile
• 4 - Enemy of the State
• 3 - Knockaround Guys
• 2 - Snowwalker
• 1 - Battlefield Earth

If you'd like to send us your list then email topofthepods@gmail.com, full instructions are on our site at www.topofthepods.com.

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TOTP - Top Ten Things You Buy That Gather Dust

Robs list today, these are the things that you buy thinking that you'll improve your lifestyle, but end up being ignored after a month:-

• 10 - Manuals and receipts
• 9 - Puzzles
• 8 - The novelty Christmas noisey thing
• 7 - Coffee frother
• 6 - Universal remote control
• 5 - Gym membership
• 4 - Executive desk toys
• 3 - Bathroom scales
• 2 - An exercise bike
• 1 - An FM radio

Hey everyone, if you'd really like to help us out but can't donate then why not support us on Podcast Alley by voting for us?

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TOTP - Top Ten Top Of The Pods

Linda from Havertown (whom we worship) provides todays top ten list to our guest host Mark from the Tartan Podcast (whom we also worship). Linda asks - are you a new listener to TOTP? If so, here is a list of lists from Rob and Jon that will give you an idea of what you;ve missed over the past six months. No need to use up the boy's bandwidth to download everything yet. Check these out first:-

• 10 - Keyboard Shortcuts (19 April, Jons list)
• 9 - Web Annoyances (27 April, Robs list)
• 8 - Big Things (5 May, Robs list)
• 7 - Transportation (20 May, Jons list)
• 6 - Puddings (23 May, Robs list)
• 5 - Inventions (24 May, Jons list)
• 4 - Things Not to Put on a Car (13 June, Robs list)
• 3 - Cool Brands (15 June, Jons list)
• 2 - Moments in Life that Run in Slow Motion (12 July, Robs list)
• 1 - Things They Need to Make (13 July, Robs list)

Mark also jokered out number 3 and replaced it with the Crisp Flavour show. Rob wanted to try adding the Top Ten Reasons Why I Is Proud To Be An American.

Thanks so much to Mark for helping out hosting the show today, Mark by the way is also joining Jon and Rob at the Lance Anderson Podcast Experiment - details at http://www.highblue.co.uk/events.

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