Monday, July 04, 2005

TOTP - Top Ten Reasons Why I Is Proud To Be An American

One word. Sorry. Not that Rob isn't bitter about the American company Apple messing up on iTunes, or the American web site Podcast Alley crashing in Top of the Pods moment of number 4 glory, or the American that stole Robs last decent girlfriend. But it is the Forth of July, and we were going to do a 'Top Ten Misconceptions About Americans'. It seemed like a better idea to ask our resident token Americans Hank and Eugene to present the same list of why they are proud of their countries achievements:-

Express your opinions, thoughts and death threats to, we'll read out the best ones on our podcast.


Top Of The Pods said...

I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

**** Me. That was special. I hurt myself laughing at that. Best. Top 10. Ever. Your going to get flamed from every American that lives, but that doesn't actually matter... Coz it was perfect. Perfect I tell thee.


Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Very good top ten list.
Al will never write you a list again.

Anonymous said...

Something tells me Al isn;t joking either. These guys might carry automatique weapeons too...

Look what happens when you write a script based soley on US 80's TV show references - people get upset. Did nobody notice our getout clause? It was the line about 'irony and humour'.

Oh well Al, get it over and done with while I sleep, just like you did with Private Santiago.


Anonymous said...

You Know You're From Britain When...

You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.

Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!

You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.

You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year

You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.

You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

You've accepted queuing as a way of life.

You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.

You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).

Top Of The Pods said...

Marines? Bloody wimps. Bring them on!! We'll smell their gum a mile off and start picking them off with our SAS crack team.


Top Of The Pods said...

Jon, you are not helping matters.


Anonymous said...

lol, love it. Great Stuff... It's a point tho, the SAS would beat them into the ground. We'll be ok tho, not much oil here...


digitaldion (Dion Forster) said...

ha ha ha!!!! two bald headed convicts escaping from a.... Ha ha!!!

Good for you!!! You rule! This was the best show ever! Long may you live! Why not do something truly American and syndicate T-Shirts, Caps, and bumper stickers for this show????

If you need protection let us know. We could always arrange a little support before you get invaded.... Ha ha!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm an American and I thought it was hilarious! Americans do the same thing as you guys did all the time and we even make fun of eachother! I just don't see why people take these things so personally. I bet they're the same people who make fun of you european folks. :p

Haha! I love you guys and not in a stalker sort of way... o.0

Silly people, we wouldn't send the Marines..we'd send the Navy Seals. There aren't as many Seals as the Marines but they've got skill. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the Marines...>_> Lol. Sorry, I'm a bit of a Navy brat, ya know, raised by a Navy family. :p

Again, to you people who are actually angery about this TOTP episode...lighten up a bit. It was all in jest.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the second post but I misspelled angry up there. XD

Anonymous said...

if al is just bluffing i could send in my crack squad of canadian diplomats to
stage a peacful protest.

Anonymous said...

I'm an American (married to a Brit) and we both thought this TOTP was hilarious. Not accurate... there are far better things to make fun of. David Hasselhoff? Puh-leeese!

Keep up the good work!

Top Of The Pods said...

thanks for all the positives. nice to know we can all laugh at ourselves! if you're all in such good moves, why not head over to podcast alley and pencil in a vote for us. ta.

Anonymous said...

well, al us canadians do like our beer. In fact I even have a joke about canadians and beer. It goes a something like this:

a canadian bloke iswalking down the street with a case of beer under his arm
his friend Randy stops him and asks, Hey Dave! what cha got that case o beer for?"
Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave
"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

edzeppelin said...

Where do the americans and springer enter into this?

Anonymous said...

Dang! I tell you wut...That there wuz side-splittin' good!
If you are an American who is very easily will be, so be sensible, do yourself a favour and listen to something else.
If you are a reasonable person, however, who can appreciate the humour in stereo-typical extremities (because it is making fun of itself), then listen on.
The accent(s) alone are hilarious, akin to someone doing Geordie/Scouse/Cockney/WestCountry *simultaneously* and randomly/inconsistently.
Americans do likewise when they try to do a British accent, turnabout is fairpaly in my book.
One possible cultural faux pas is the countless use of "g_d d_mn", which for many Americans is considered swearing, and some might take umbrage at its use.
The lads can surely be forgiven for this, however, at least let's hope so.
A classic TOTP to be sure. Well done, lads. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Yeeeee-haw ! Sonofagun that was sooooo good. Made me almost go wee-wee mah undergarments whilst travellin' on mah public transportation veee-hicle this maw-nin, Dang-nabbit !!

Top Of The Pods said...

Sonofagun - forgot about that. great word.
I just love the sound of vee-hicle.

Shit we really thought we were going to get all bad comments - we've had a few unhappy emails, but generally they have been really great.

Sorry for taking the piss so much - we'll have a go at someone else soon!! By the way Hank and Eugene now have a blog - we'll let you know when those pair of gun totin, crazy ass, rebel flag waving, van halen lovin' rednecks actually pull themselves away from their 87" pizzas and their 36 ft rear projection tvs hooked up to their 1986 panasonic stereo system and actually type something...


Anonymous said...

Bryan Adams isn't American, he's Canadian. But they can have him if they want. Please?

Anonymous said...

ya thats what I thought to. But maybe it was meant to be a subtle joke on RYAN adams?

Anonymous said...

I'm with Adem on Bryan Adams matter : P

Top Of The Pods said...

I love Ryan Adams. What is his new album like?


Anonymous said...

like an album