Friday, July 15, 2005

TOTP - Top Ten Things Every Drunkard Should Do

Not that either of us drink that much, but if you're a total alcoholic then why not test yourself with this list taken from We here at didn't score too highly in these list of things that every drunkard should do. Email us at and let us know if you have ever done any of these or worse in a drunken haze. Its not big, and its not clever - so when you do email us just make sure that you sound very sorry for what you have done:-

  • 10 – Fight a good fight
  • 9 – Buy, build or steal a home bar
  • 8 – Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink.
  • 7 – Get 86’d from a bar (can anyone explain what this means?)
  • 6 – Buy a crowded bar a round
  • 5 – Get drunk on the grave of your hero
  • 4 – Spend a night in the drunk tank
  • 3 - Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd
  • 2 – Go on a bender
  • 1 – Open and close a bar

Why not listen to a true expert who we know has scored ten out of ten in this list of things every drunkard should do? Check out Mark at the Tartan Podcast - we figure if we keep him sweet with lots of traffic to his site he won't sue us.


Anonymous said...

I think you should do an X-Rated show... me and Hendy could even help... We could record some stuff and patch it together, that could be fun. lol. But yes, a X-Rated show would be ace, I have no idea about a name, or any topics... but it's a good idea.


Al said...

You aren't far from the truth...In regard to your take on the term 86'd. It was borrowed from the policy of "86ing" someone when that person has had too much to drink. He/she is no longer being served. 86 refers to article 86 of the New York State Liquor laws that define when someone should not, legally, be served in places that sell alcoholic beverages.

JH said...

I know 86 as American diner slang... to cancel or remove an item from an order... I guess it must have originated from the NY Liquor laws. Wow. I feel as though I learned something.

Yes, you should do an adult show. But not too raunchy. It looks like there's aready too much of that rubbish out there already. Swearing would be fine and couldn't be worse than what I hear in operting rooms ("theatres") on a daily basis.

Anonymous said...

2 to add
Fall Over Friday! You should always fall over.
and Visit the Burger bar after a skin full.
I only know this from my daughters :o/

PH said...

["Don't forget the joker..."]
I am playing the joker, and substituting the 'secretly hidden' top 10 list.
A true friend will be honest with you, soz (I'm not a sycophant).
Had a couple of laughs here, but this was supposed to be a 'silly' list.
Chuckles-to-silliness ratio was bit off here.
If this were a techie list it might have been balanced by new information or something.
Just listened to Top 10 Fonts That Suck, enjoyed that one (didn't expect to at all).
Your own lists, and listener lists have been better.
Honesty is the best policy, they say (whoever *they* are).
Not a complete loss, just not what other top 10 lists have been so far.

JH said...

Maybe it would have been funnier if you were drunk.

Anonymous said...

Take a look at page 86 of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Top Of The Pods said...

Now that's an idea. Present a show while pissed. That would have to be an adult show for sure as i would not be able to control the cussing. Every f**king other f**cking word

Anonymous said...

name for show:
top of the pods: nights

or even....

top of the pods: knights!!

as in baywatch nights.